| Quiet |
[20 Sep 2006|11:39pm] |
I used to be quiet all the time--I never spoke unless I was spoken to, and even then I sometimes just pretended not to hear. It was kind of lonely, but I had a few friends, and it was easy.
Then I got sick of it and decided to try my luck in the real world...but it's hard. There's drama everywhere and every single relationship ever, be it love, friend, or just aquaintance. It's like, there's no escaping it.
Maybe I should just go back to being quiet. None of this will end well. It'll all just end up hurting.
What the hell is up with me being so moody? I mean, I've been thinking. Why did Valerie and Melissa hate me so much? There had to be something I did wrong, but I can't remember what it was or even if I ever knew. It feels like maybe if I knew what I did then, I'll have a better chance of not doing it this time. There's no way they'd do all that if I had done nothing. I want to know what's wrong with me!
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| Ugh, drama. |
[16 Sep 2006|02:40pm] |
It's so disgusting. But when you get caught up in it, what can you do? Drama is the true killer of good friendships. It's best to just take everything on the light side, right?
Yeah, that's it.
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[11 Sep 2006|09:35pm] |
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Weird.
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| Aeris's Theme |
[04 Sep 2006|06:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 wistfull |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Aeris's Theme |
] |
I've never played FF7, but I'm listening to this song and it's really quite pretty. I think I'll learn it. But that means I should play the game, right? So I know what it's about? That's what I tried to do with To Zanarkand, but I couldn't focus. I'm not good with focusing.
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| Saishuu Ressha |
[03 Sep 2006|11:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Inspired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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MUCC - Saishuu Ressha |
] |
Wow, this song rocks. I love it.
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| Woooo piano playing. |
[01 Sep 2006|05:30pm] |
So for some reason I've been obsessed with posting videos of myself playing the piano on Youtube. I think it's partly because I like watching my fingers (I don't usually get to see them from that angle) and partly because I like showing off.
Either way, they should be watched and praised. My name is Avalerin on Youtube, too. http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=avalerin
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| School |
[30 Aug 2006|06:59pm] |
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School has started. The friendship descision is still in effect, and I honestly hope it stays this way. There was a slight confrontation, and it made me realize what's different this time--I don't care if she's mad. I don't care if she's going to tell Melissa or Rochelle that I'm a two-faced, lying, immature bitch. I was already expecting that, and that's the worst she can do. All she can do is say things. I can't do anything about that, and it doesn't affect me directly. I'm just going to do what makes me happy.
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| Filial duties |
[21 Aug 2006|11:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Catie's strange musics.. |
] |
So, annual summer hell-fest bitch-hate visit to Ohio. Yay for my crushed self-esteem! But it will be over in a few days.
I hope.
Unless someone hijacks our plane. Then I'll die without ever having seen my new DVD burner. I won't be able to bake those cookies I've been meaning to bake. Or that cake. Or that soup. I won't ever get to play the Wii. I won't buy Gertrude's house. I won't ever see the Hobbit movie. I won't know what happens to Frank McCourt afer he comes to America. I won't get to buy a new cat when my old one dies. I won't get to bury my cat in the backyard of my grandparents' house.
It's a sad thing when a cat outlives their owner.
Unless the people just hijack the plane because their life's goal is to fly a jumbo jet and they have only one week to live.
That would probably be okay.
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| Updaterific |
[07 Aug 2006|12:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Crazy Song with Dancing Girls |
] |
Okay, so the top five things on my mind right now are:
1. DIR EN GREY.
2. Talking to that icky boy again.
3. That guy reminds me of that icky boy.
4. Why are these Skittles so sweet?
5. I need a new job...Gamers or Best Buy?
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| Ahh More Diru! |
[05 Aug 2006|08:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Miyavi - Ashita Tenki Ni Naare |
] |
What should I wear? How should I do my hair? What should I bring for gifts?
I'm new to the Dir en Grey concert scene, so you're going to have to help me out here. If you don't know Dir en Grey then I doubt you understand how important these questions are.
(Duh, of course I know that no one has found my site yet. I am well aware that no one will reply. Shut up.)
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| Dir en Grey |
[05 Aug 2006|07:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Miyavi - Jibun Kakumei |
] |
Yep, I'm a Diru fan. I'm going to have the opportunity to see them live at the end of this month, and I am super psyched. Unfortunately, they're in the Family Values Tour (a.k.a. KORN), which I am not a fan of. It's strange--if I heard music like Diru's in English, I doubt I would like it as much. But I don't like them just because they're Japanese. Have you ever noticed the (sometimes not-so) subtle difference between Japanese rock and American/English? It isn't just the language, it's the whole style of music. If you want a good example, listen to the opening theme of Grandia III (Fly In the Sky) in Japanese. Even though it's a Japanese game, you can tell that the song is originally American. So what's the difference? How is it that I can tell without the lyrics whether a song is Japanese or not?
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| Failure. |
[04 Aug 2006|06:00pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ayaka Hirahara - Ashita |
] |
Okay, so that last plan didn't work out. Didn't take very long to go down, did it? The more I give, the more she takes. I figure I'll just be better off without them. Facing her gossip would be easier than facing her criticism. It would basically be the same thing, except I wouldn't have to pretend to like her. So that's the new plan, okay? It may seem a little immature to just start ignoring her, but if I don't, it will escalate into an arguement and she'll get exactly what she wants. I'd end up getting flustered, confused, saying the wrong thing, and apologizing, and I'd go back to being her bitch. This way, she'll tell everyone she knows that I'm immature, I'll ignore it since none of them like me anyway, and I'll go on my merry way. Sounds good. Let's do it.
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| Friends...again. |
[03 Aug 2006|06:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Social Distortion - Don't Drag Me Down |
] |
I have two kinds of friends. I act differently with each of them. Things are working with one kind, and not with the other. So the obvious solution is to change the things I do, right? I've decided that I'm just going to be the perfect friend. I might not like it, but I'll try. I'll let her talk about herself as much as she wants, and I won't fight back when she's bitchy. I'll call her when she wants me to, talk as long as she wants me to, and do whatever she wants me to. It's the only way.
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| Entry: The First |
[02 Aug 2006|10:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sublime - What I Got |
] |
So, this is my LiveJournal. I doubt I'll use it often, but it's worth a shot, right? Please note the DNAngel skin. I have neither read nor seen the entire series. I own only one DVD and five graphic novels. I don't know much about the plot. But I figure that maybe having it a site that I hope to visit often will motivate me to finish.
I know that anyone visiting this site probably already knows who I am and most of what I'm like, so there's no point in saying anything about that. Instead, I'll skip right on to the summary of my day and my feelings. :P
As none of you probably know, I'm currently taking a Driver's Ed. course. Normally, the class would be located at my own high school, but because of the way I signed up and the time I'm taking it, it's at another school about 15 minutes away. At first I thought I would be intimidated by being surrounded by people who probably already had friends in the class and didn't need any more, but after the first day I'd already become good friends with another girl. It made me realize that in the past couple of years, my social skills and tendencies have changed dramatically. Let me explain--I have two friends who I love dearly and have been friends with for quite some time. When I met them, though, I was one of the "quiet ones" and was definitely not anything near outgoing. Since then, the people I've met and my experiences with them have made me a braver, more outgoing (though still quite shy) person. So, basically, I'm still the quiet one with my friends, but with others I have moved on and am now a loud (sometimes too loud), happy person. Of course, the drastic difference between the two mes is causing some difficulties, especially with my closer, more trusted friends.
Also at this time I have more friends who are boys than friends who are girls. Sure, they're not as good of friends and I can't really talk to them about important things (except one who I trust with my life), but I enjoy their company much more than that of the friends I trust and admire. Weird? I thought so.
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